Myla Katzav

Just like any child living in the Philippines, the moment the calendar page turns to September, I experienced a tingling sensation of excitement and happiness.  It signifies the beginning of Christmas, a fairytale that comes true every year: lights of different shades and colors playfully twinkling everywhere you go, shinny decorations hanging on the ceiling or pasted on the wall, santa clause of different sizes and themes, socks full of candies, christmas carolling, tons of gifts and the many parties and favorite food filling up the refrigirator.  But what I love most about Christmas is that it brings the family together and so it becomes the most peaceful and full of love time of the year.

In short, the Christmas season is that time of the year where people are happy individually and collectively and the Philippines is not the place for non-believers or kill-joys…because I don’t think they will survive as everywhere they go, its all red, green and gold and ho! ho! ho!

My situation is different.  I am in a place that the majority do not celebrate Christmas. I guess they do not even know what Christmas is.  I am in place that believes that Jesus Christ as the son of God is fictitious.  I am in a place that the children do not have an inkling of Santa Claus…which transcends to all of the things I wrote in the first paragraph nil

I have been without Christmas for 3 years and it sucks just as much.  And as some of my friends and family back home have started a countdown to Christmas, silently, I am counting down the days when its all going to be back to normal there.    

So for this season, I am not putting anything that will remind me of Christmas at home except for my google and facebook pages which are all in Christmas themes.  I will see how much I can endure and if it becomes unbearable, then perhaps next year, I will do something different like the opposite of this year.

The closest I got to celebrating Christmas is teaching my childen some carols.

So what then?  Well, as this is the life that I chose with open eyes, I will have to deal with it the way the morning star tries so hard to beat the sunshine. 

What I know for sure is that in the silence of the night, I am most grateful now than I ever was. 

That the special child born that night under the brightness of a star in a manger brings hope and love. That no matter what situation you are in, if you have love around you and there is deep gratitude in your heart even for the simplest things and you are deeply connected to your loved ones no matter the distance, then the spirit of Christmas will live on and will warm your heart even if the outside world is at its coldest.