Myla Katzav

Today I left Rachel at the day care..uhhmm..no…Rachel asked me to leave her there.  It is her first time again after being home with me for 6 months.  The staff at the day care were amazed on how easily she let go.  When we arrived at the place, she went directly to the room where the kids were, sat on floor and started playing with them like a regular. My sister-in-law told me how, even 5-year olds would still cry when its their first day in day care.

When I was in the Philippines for two months, I also enrolled her in a day care and she was the only one without a yaya in tow and I saw the difference.  She removed her shoes by herself, placed her bag in the shelf and went to play without inhibitions. She told me goodbye properly when I left.

Many people have told me how amazing Rachel is that in such a young age, she seems to understand what is going around her specially with the complexities of the adults.  As early as 2 years old, she can put her own shoes with buckles, dress herself up with pants or shorts and get into long conversations with adults.  Sometimes, when Haim and I are deep in conversation and she would say something…most of the time, we don’t give her our attention and she would tell us loudly to please listen to her because she is saying something. She can draw a face complete with eyes, nose, mouth and curly hair..just like her or a camel.  She knows how to draw circles, triangle and square and colors them within the line.  She can complete puzzles on her own…big ones and with more than 50 pieces. She helps bathe Ben and sometimes puts on his shoes.  When there are other kids around them and when a kid starts to hit Ben, she would stop them and rub his cheeks with her fingers telling him that its okay.  She knows not to make noise when Ben is sleeping and understands when she can’t have more candies or ice cream.

Rachel has never been a crying baby nor a clingy one. I guess its because she is confident that Aba and Ima would always be there at the end of the day.  And we talk to her a lot like we talk to adults and more  because we take pains in making her understand why its wrong to act like this or that and why her action is very good.

I think its starts with the first step.  When Rachel started to show interest in walking, we let her go.  When she started to go to the stairs, we let her go.  We do not stop her, we teach her to put one foot after the other and hold the side wall or railings when going up.  When there is a lit candle, we do not just tell her not to go near..we actually let her go near it and even touch it and when she feels uncomfortable, then she would understand that she should keep out of it.  Of course, all these come with explanations.

I also think that the child should be let go to explore as much as she wants.  That to keep her from doing things is actually slowing her down (which I am guilty of sometimes!).  And the parents play a very important role in getting a child to attain such independence.  For a child to be independent, the parents must show support and encouragement. The parents must be confident in what they are about to do and understand when things don’t work out.  Plus of course the patience to explain to them why this isn’t so and why that is allowed.

There are a million things I can say about her but one special moment is our time together at night when we would have our “girls’-talk”.  She would always ask me if I’m happy and I always tell her that I am. Then its my turn to ask her if she is happy and she always tells me yes. We talk about her day which she would be too lazy to say anything about..and so we would just exchange our devotion to each other.  I tell her how much I love her and she answers back in her cute soft sleepy voice “I love you Mama” and we kiss each other. Sometimes, she would rub the back of her hands on my cheeks.

I think that children love being with their parents but the parents need them more to live and breathe!