Myla Katzav

Rachel was born in the Philippines.  I labored for 14 hours but it was a "good" experience because I felt safe and well-taken cared of by my doctor and the nurses of The Medical City in Ortigas.  They kept her in the nursery for another week because of an infection and so after 2 nights, I went home feeling weird and incomplete.  Allthough the week gave me time to rest properly and get my usual 10-hour sleep at night, I felt so uncomfortable and restless because she was not with us.

Upon her arrival, our place was abuzz with activities:her yaya was around, my mother and my niece plus the visitors that we got on a daily basis. I was looking after her full-time as someone would cook, clean and do the laundry.  However, her yaya would still bathe her because I was scared as hell to even try.  She was sponged bath during her first week at home.  When my husband decided to give her a full bath, I cried.  I was afraid. 

My mother stayed with us for only a month so when she left, my crying increased.  I felt the whole world was pinning me down...that it continued with its usual daily activities while here I was stuck with not much choice.   I became very protective of Rachel that sleeping was quite impossible to do.  I lay awake at night just watching her...listening to her breathing.  I didnt let the yaya watch over her at night but more than a month after, we asked her to sleep with Rachel 2 nights a week...or else I would find myself back to the hospital!

I went back working after one and a half months.  I asked my manager to let me go to work for half day until I am done with the 3 months maternity leave. I felt I needed a slice of my old self. However, I never got to work full time because I had to resign as we were moving to HongKong.  Rachel was only 3 months old when she took her first international flight to our new home.