Myla Katzav

I never thought I could look forward to a Friday like nowadays.  Well, even before, Fridays were deemed as that last day of holding your breath before the fun and relaxing starts with the weekend.  In Israel, I deem it much bigger than that.

Fridays are the only days that parents get to do things without getting interrupted or disturbed because the kids are in the day care (for babies and toddlers)  or school (for older kids).  Errands can be done faster and more efficiently like going to the grocery or market, shopping or cleaning the house, cooking, doing the laundry and taking care of the car.  It is also a day that they get to pamper themselves…having breakfast leisurely, sitting and talking with no care for time passing by, watching a movie or just hanging out together.

More importantly, it is the day of "love"….finally we do not need to wait till everyone is asleep, no need to rush into things before someone starts to wake up, no need to lock the doors, no need to be QUIET!!!! Ahhhhh…the freedom of being alone together once more just like how it was when we were younger.

STOP!!! Well, not likely though….with age, two kids and less practice, we find ourselves enjoying more just laying in bed in a tight embrace…with or without making love and it's just heaven!  

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Baha is a famous outcry in the Philippines,  a country that experiences two "seasons: wet and dry.  These days, it has been raining, no, pouring in the Pinoyland and many households are under water attack.  In Israel, it only rains for a total of 2 weeks or a little more than that annually during winter.  And currently, it faces a huge problem with water scarcity that a household can be fined once they see an abnormal increase in water consumption. 

Yesterday morning, I read some comments from friends in Facebook about the downpour in Manila causing monstrous traffic jams and…..baha!!! Just reading about it made me miss rain so much and the sound of thunder. So, I placed a comment in my wall about this wishful thinking.

A little over 10 hours after making that "wish", we got a call from our neighbor saying our house has water all over….well, she could have just mentioned baha to me and I will get a better picture of it.  We rushed back home and as I entered the elevator, I already saw water in there and it scared the hell out of me.  I can just imagine myself slaving to clear the water until early morning and I wanted to run away!

As we opened the door to our apartment, there it was.  The whole house except for the bedrooms and the bathrooms was just wet…to my kids delight!!! I placed Ben in his chair and he was so happy to see me walk through water and making a splash.  Rachel was delighted to see the whole house a playwater ground.  She started to stomp on it making big splashes to my horror.  Just a few minutes after arriving and evaluating the extent of our domestic "calamity", our neighbors started entering our house with their cleaning paraphernalias to my amazement!  There were about 7 people helping us out clear the water and clean the floor and I havent met most of them and don’t know all of them at all.  So, my projected "slaving" time to clear and clean the house until past midnight was hugely decreased to just less than 2 hours. 

But the one that put a smile in all of us was little Rachel, who took the broom and started to push the water out of the house and did it very well that her cousins older than her started to join in and help.

Looking back, it wasn’t bad at all, in fact, I see it as a blessing in disguise.  We made new friends, our neighbors "knew" us finally. And our little Rachel proved that in times of discomfort, she can be counted on. I am so proud of her.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

When I saw my best friend's comment about how she misses reading my blog and how my articles have become scarce, I panicked.  I felt disconnected from her and from the rest of Pinoyland and its not good.  Since I had the blog, I felt more at ease, comforted by the thought that through it, my  loved ones will never loose track of me. And once I got the confirmation for a job, I feared my blog will be the first thing to suffer from the change…and it did!

The computer room where I used to spend hours at night, alone with my thoughts flowing through my blog, has been empty for two weeks now.  I miss it.  I miss spending hours there in the middle of the night and just letting my thoughts run away. It has become my base, my abode, a place where I can reflect and let time go by…

When I got this job, I promised myself that outside of the hours from work, I would devote it to the kids and making sure that everything at home remains as it used to be and that was what I did…but I guess that shouldn’t be the case because of my best friend's 3-liner. It was a wake-up call and I am thankful that it came in this early.  I even had plans of closing down my blog because I just couldn’t find the time or so I thought. 

But here I am, reviving it back..and thank God my mind agrees with me because it is so ready to express itself once again. I realize that I can not imagine being out of touch again.

So to my best friend, Irene, thanks for once again rescuing me as you've always done many times over.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

There was only one word to describe how I felt yesterday: TIRED! Fridays are usually the day that I schedule the major clean up of the house and doing all the errands for the coming week.  It is the only day that the kids are in the day care and haim and I are both at home.  So, I take this opportunity to do everything needed while they are away. Add to that the week's mental wourk outs….as I found myself so perked up at work, even my nights were spent thinking about how to start rolling in the sale and reach that goal…

However, I found myself feeling exhausted towards the middle of the day.  And without an appetite, a quite empyty stomache would just bring out the worse in me…and it did. So, I found myself ranting to my husband..and it was a long rant: "Lets move out of here, go back to the Philippines", "I will start looking for a job in the Philippines", "Life is too difficult here", "I miss my dad and my mom terribly", "In the Philippines, I will not be doing all these things", "In the Philippines, my free time will be for shopping, massage and just hanging out with friends", "I know I can have a better life there", etc, etc, etc.

Today, I am back to my normal state: rested body, relaxed mind and "sane".  And looking back at yesterday, I cant help but smirk.  When you are at the end of the line, and your wits are literally going down the drain, the best escape is to let your immature, selfish side do the work…because it feels good.  Even just to rant about something that you know is half the truth just so you will just have something bad to say, is good enough. So le tme get into the details of each ranted line.

"Lets move out of here and go back to the Philippines": Very easy to say, very promising.  But not a good idea for now.  We are just getting established out here: I have a new job which inspires me, the kids have just adjusted in their respective day cares, Haim is slowly but surely pulling out the guns at work.  To move out of here, afterall the sacrifces we've made would be like going back a loser.  What more, my kids just love it here and I cant take that away from them…ever.

"I will start looking for a job in the Philippines": Honestly, I love being able to work in a foreign environent.   I love the change, I love the directness, I love the bigger challenges.  So, to work in the Philippines is not as enticing as here.

"In the Philippines, I will not be doing all these": Very wrong.  I guess when I was saying those words, I was still picturing my old young, single self.  Being a mother entails a lot of work anywhere you are.  Well, except if you choose to get a nanny to care for your baby, which you can also do anywhere.  So, I made a choice and that choice entails being there for them 110%.  As for the housework, well, in the Philippines I would do less but except for days like this, I find it actually de-tressing me.

"Life is too difficult here": In life, wherever you are, it all depends whether you look at it half-full or half-empty.  Most of the time, when I am in a sane state of mind, I was walking through life and still do with only gratefullness in my mind and the glass was always half-full….grateful for my family, grateful that everyone is healthy and that life has not been too harsh on anyone.  And inspite of the challenges, I didn’t live for it to define me and so it all passed me one way or the other.    

"I know I can have a better life there": Again wrong.  I can have a better life here as well and I do.  Its just a matter of choice and seeing it in a positive manner. Of course, I lost the many things I used to love, I lost a part of myself when I left….but in life, we do loose parts of ourselves when we move one step forward…and it just gets better.

"I miss my dad and mom terribly": Now this is the clincher.  There is no way out.  There is no one and  nothing out here that will ever get any closer to taking their place and this is just truly sad.  And what can be done to compensate for it: talking to them regularly and the promise of one day, soon, I will be seeing them again.

Tags:
Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Rachel and Ben have been going to the daycare two weeks before I started going to work so they have actually been going for a month now.  How time flies!

Rachel from the start has been smooth with the change.  She loves being with kids and adults, singing, dancing, drawing, etc.  Her teachers tell me that she is a joy to be with…never giving them any problems.  Well, lucky for them..with me, she has been quite a challenge on some days when she becomes irritable and just hard headed.  But before her tantrums go full blast, I put a firm stop on it by showing her "The Belt".  She tried it once and will never ever get it I believe. Of course, I talk to her  lot and explain why her behavior calls for such an action.  I also think it is psychological because all our attention and concern were pointed towards Ben. And so, I have been more careful with how I divide my attention specially during pick-up time.  I give them the same attention and devotion..smile, embrace them, hold them……feed them!

Ben, just like me, went through some difficult moments.  The first few days were just about crying.  But as he started to get used to the people and the environment and explore and realize the many toys and activities he can join in, he warmed up very nicely.  Today, when I pick him up, he would wave to his teachers and say bye-bye, give them either a smack on the cheek or a flying kiss and smile a lot!  His progress is quite fast and dramatic.  But still, when he sees me, he leaves everything he holds or whatever he does and runs straight into my arms.  And when he does that, I feel like a burst of happiness flowed out of me.

Out of day care, out of work, we spend as much time together and its just like the old days. We still get to do the things we usually do when it was a whole day, they get to play with one another still. It does get quite hectic and chaotic at times but I know that's its all in a day's work…that there are better days coming our way and it will just keep getting easier and good.  

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

I survived my first two weeks at work.  Phew!  It was like going through a roller coaster ride. My days would usually start upbeat and then as the working hour nears it ends, I feel so drained and more, experience headaches.  The reason behind this is quite embarrassing and cant quite accept until now that it can cause my malfunction.

I start the day by waking up at 6am up to 15 minutes pass it.  The first day was a bit tough because I was so used to waking up 2 hours more and cant take it that the rest of the people at home are still snuggled in their beds.  But I perk up with the knowledge that here is a new day, a new opportunity for me..I embrace the change! Before I fix myself up, I make sure everything the kids need for their day care are all set.

To my convenience, the office environment is very easy and casual.  We go to work wearing jeans!!! On some days, I feel like "walking tall' so I release my long imprisoned high heels from the shoe cabinet and it felt so good! I try to be as casual as the rest but there are days when I just cant help but dress up a bit!

My colleagues are mostly male and all my bosses are men.  This is a first time for me since my entire working life was surrounded and headed by female powerhouses!!! Its quite amusing for me because with men bosses and collegues..everything is as is…straightforward, casual, no "trial" period.  And they are all very nice gentlemen.  I guess it has something to do also with me being female and the only Asian.

I am inspired by how they do business.  My bosses inspire me because they are so simple and humble and yet they hold big time gobal projects in their hands.  And this is exactly the kind of environment I want to be involved in.  So, I felt and still feel like a tiger….sharpening my claws and getting ready to that moment that they will opent he gates widely and let me free.  I cant wait to make that first "kill" and relish the success of closing a big project.  I can already feel it in my fingers…..

 

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Days before I started working, I was feeling just a little bit uneasy and sometimes, more than that...I was scared.  Its been almost 3 years since I said goodbye to a career i so loved and shifted to being a full time mother.  In those 3 years, I had 2 babies and lived in 3 countries.  So actually, I am used to change...plus I have more wisdom in handling whatever comes my way. 

My fear didnt have anything to do with how I will perform or what kind of task I will do..it was more on loosing the time I will have for my kids but I also know that looking at the bigger picture, this change is the best for all of us.  Rachel and Ben are very sociable  and being surrounded by kids their age and doing activities together would only do them good plus I will get my mind starting to run once more and earn my own keep!

So days before, I started to organize in my mind on how our days would be.  In the mornings, their Abba (hebrew for dad) will be bringing them to school as I need to be out of the house by 7.  Bags, food, diapers and extra clothes should be in their bags on the table.  The clothes they will wear are all laid on the foot of Rachel's bed.  Cold juice in their respective bottles are ready in the refrigirator as well as food to be heated anytime.

I pick them up before 2 pm, we get home, they eat if they are still hungry while I will have my late lunch when I feel like it still.  And then we have our bonding moments when we just lay down together, watch cartoons until it is time for the afternoon nap.  Ben always sleeps in his crib with his little pillows while Rachal and I get to sleep anywhere we find ourselves in...which is mostly on the sofa, while watching tv.

Work has run very smoothly.  It is actually easy for me.  The environment is relaxed, which is good at times but not all the time as I thrive on pressure.  And I felt like I just stopped working a few days ago and not 3 years ago.  I think being a foreigner..moreso, Asian in another country has its advantages.  Most of the time, it is too relaxing for us and so a very welcoming treat for someone new like me. Plus it belongs to the same industry that I am familiar with already. 

Reflecting about it..it is actually an ideal job for me:

less hours/days = more time with the kids + more time to keep the house + more time to rest

same line of job = shorter learning curve + smooth transition

I feel blessed by all the happenings around me that seem to make it all work out easily.  It can seem chaotic but when treated one by one, actually is easy. 

My best friend told me I should take out all the high heels and start wearing them along with all those corprate clothes that have been sleeping in my closet, some still with tags..my husband came from a business trip in China bringing me more beautiful corporate clothes....and yet I find myself dressing just a little bit flashy..somehow, I cant seem to take away that Mommy mode in me...someone who's always ready to be wherever, do whatever for her kids.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

I think that one of the worst moments in time is saying goodbye.  Be it temporary or a prolonged absence, it always pulls your heart until it hurts.  I have said good bye a million times….most memorable ones were my leaving home for college at the age of 16, watching my grandmother sleeping peacefully in her coffin, getting a heart broken when I or he leaves, saying thanks and see you soon to my brother in America after we spent months building his home, hugging my best friend so tightly at the airport and giving my parents that one last look that hopefully says it all when I left the Philippines.

 

My Tio Boy has terminal cancer.  Families and friends who are capable are now coming in and out of his hospital room bringing with them strength, courage, faith and love to fill him up in these very difficult moments.  I heard that he literally lights up when someone comes in and as soon as they leave, the shadows of depression lurks back in.  With hope and love, they also come to him to say goodbye in silence and I am sure Tio Boy is aware of it. Among all the brothers and sisters of my dad (he has 12!) he is the most favored by all, both young and old, because he has the biggest and the most generous heart.

 

From a distant, there are times that you can erase reality and replace it with day-to-day tasks to keep your mind from it, remembering him during healthier days or just pretending its not happening.  But it can never be completely out of your heart because you know, he is hurting and your family is hurting as well. 

 

Everytime I talked to him, I cant seem to find the words and end up blabbering.  I wanted to say something that will mean to him, something to make it feel better but everytime I got the opportunity, the words just wouldn’t want to be heard.

 

A few days ago, he was hospitalized for complications from pneumonia and the swelling of his legs.  I heard it is inevitable.. and it is just a matter of time. So I find myself in a dilemma…should I say goodbye or not at all? 

 

I shouldn’t because if I do then I’m closing the doors to hope and we never know…miracles happen everyday.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

When we made a decision to move to Israel, I knew I will be facing tremendous challenges for being simply different.  There would be conflicts from all corners of my life..from within myself and from the people surrounding me.  And that was what exactly happened.  My first 6 months were met with resistance: confusion on how to live life differently, desperation when I cant seem to find my way and anger on why I chose this path.  I felt like a child all over again, learning the basics..a child carrying another child within (Ben) and taking care of yet another one (Rachel). 

 

 

They say there is a cycle to change.  Its starts with resistance, anger, realization and then acceptance.  I went through all that and am very, very grateful that finally I have accepted.  However, little have I realized that the people around me would be going through something similar with much less effect from dealing with me. 

 

 

When one finds oneself in the opposite end of the pole, one has a choice of either crossing over and being a part of the regular stream or keep to one’s being and face the challenges head-on. Crossing over and becoming part of the main stream would mean an overhaul of who you are…”When in Rome, do as the Romans do”.  I think this only works for temporary stay or when you are a tourist.  But when you decide to carve a life in a new place, this wont really work unless you are ready to give up who you really are.

 

 

I chose and still choose to keep on my side of the pole.  I guess, with age and with the many experiences I went through and meeting amazing people along the way who never for once forgotten who they are, I never hesitated being myself.

 

So below are some realizations on how to live in a foreign place without giving yourself up:

 

 

1. Respect, respect, respect!  If you cant understand how people do things and why they do it then just respect them.  It will put a period to whatever confusion you are experiencing.

 

2. Never judge.  It is so easy to criticize and comment but this is a dangerous path because you dont know the person and vice versa and no matter what is the nature behind this, never say it because you will never know when you will need his/her help.

 

3. Accept things one day at a time: Do not force yourself to try to be positive or negative to people because you will never know what realizations will come your way once the moment is ripe for it.

4. Never attempt to change people.

5. Say No when you want to and Yes when you mean it.  Do not lie with your feelings and thoughts. In other words, do not pretend.

6. Never give up who you are: For as long as you do not hurt or cause utmost discomfort to people around you, stay strong.  When you do and people see this, in the end, they will realize your worth and this is the best way to get respect.

7. Never forget where you came from..because no matter where you go, whatever heights you reach…you will always, always look back and it will always, always give you strength.

8. Call your parents.  I get my daily doze of strength from talking to my Mom no matter how unimportant the issues are.  Knowing they are there, is enough to give me the confidence to lift up my head and face my days without fear.

 

Finally, I only have my husband to thank for.  He is my greatest source of strength and he is the one who taught me to stand strong and learn to say "No".  He tells me that our primary concern is God and our family's wellbeing ....that anything and anyone outside that circle can jump in the lake but we keep our values, we keep our faith and our trust in God.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

“Mind your own business” is not a very popular statement here in Israel. On the contrary, Israelis love to mind other people’s business.  In fact, they love doing it. 

 

I remember once accompanying my sister-in-law at the mall with her baby girl in a stroller.  She needed to try on a blouse and so she asked me to look after her baby.  As she entered the fitting room, her baby started to cry and I took her in my arms.  Immediately, two older women started to talk to me in Hebrew with their voices high.  Its good I didn’t understand them at that time because I just stared at them like “Duhhh?!?”.  My sister-in-law who heard everything told me afterwards that they were asking me why a mother should leave her baby crying like this.  For goodness sake! My sister-in-law spent only a few minutes in the fitting area! And babies are allowed to cry!

Another event I recall was when I was with my kids in the mall, and both of them were crying.  Of course, I couldn’t carry both of them, so I let Rachel hang on to my blouse while I tried to pacify Ben when all of a sudden; an old woman stared at me and commented that I shouldn’t let both babies cry.   This time I understood her and so I told her off.  I know I should respect her because she is much older but I was at the end of my patience for anyone at that time.  And I am not used to this kind of attention.

A friend of ours was biking around with his two sons who were not wearing helmet when, a passing car slowed down and the driver told him that he shouldn’t take them out like this.  I mean they were biking very slowly and far from the road!

It is welcoming when people do care when things go wrong not just in their inner surroundings but at the outside as well.  But it is beyond this when they forcefully push themselves into you specially when the act done is nothing close to being wrong.   I like that the Israelis are protective towards each other specially with babies and kids but too much of it is such a turn off. 

 

I also notice that they cannot accept a “no” or “yes” for an answer.  They have to know why.  And this is something that I cannot level with up to now. 

 

I love the statement "Mind your own business" and practice it to the fullest.  And I accept a "yes" or "no" reply gracefully just as much as I give either one with no intention to answer further with the "why's".  And does that bother me?  No! 

Tags:
Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)