I experienced both having a yaya or nanny taking care of my baby and doing everything myself. Rachel had a yaya until she was 1 year and 6 months old while Ben didnt even see a shadow of one. Instantly, as a mother, I would say it was a big surprise and an eye openner to realize that not having a yaya was the best thing that ever happened to me..and I'm sure my kids agree to that!!!
With a yaya around, your motherly instincts are not fully fired up because you know there is someone who will take charge when you don't feel ready. And there is a build-up of jealousy and irritation when you see your child acting exactly the same way as he is with the yaya and with you. And the best part..and all moms will agree to this, is you get to witness every change, every development, every character build-up in your baby. And he goes out to the world feeling confident because every mistake he makes, every fall and accident, is all right because you take pains in explaining it to him.
When Rachel was born, I couldn't give her a bath until she was 3 months old! She had her yaya and so I didnt push myself to try. I thought what's in a bath, really? With Ben, from the moment he arrived home, I put him in his tub and bathed him like I was doing it for a lifetime! With him, I studied, I observed , I focused...because I didnt have a fallback. And the result: amazing mommy-baby bonding! I didnt know how enjoyable it was to feel his soft skin and cleanse him. It did me good more than him. And this is just a sample of what the whole scenario that you go through being a full-time mom.
Another important facet is your baby's meal time. With Rachel, I didnt really make an effort to learn how to make her love fruits or vegetables once she discovered chocolates and anything sweet!...a common problem among mothers. Now I learned that if you mix freshly cut tomatoes with white soft, spreadable cheese, they love it!!! Or to feed them with fruits everyday that it has become a staple. A freshly cut cucumber, melon or apple is immediately devoured once they feel hungry in the middle of playtime.
Lunch and dinner calls for careful prep time. Usually chicken soup with vegetables does it. Mash the potatoes and carrots and serve it with a slice of soft chicken meat..and viola! you end up with empty plates. I sometimes boil broccoli and other leafy vegetables and mix it together with the chicken soup...the taste is still there but with added nutrition. Baked sweet potatoes topped with powdered onions and a little olive oil is a favorite.
My babies never had problems with mealtime (knock on wood..thrice!!!) Maybe because they feel no pressure and that its still bonding time with mommy. They also get to learn to feed themselves and discover the texture of the food once they're done feeling hungry!
No one will have the patience to go through this length like a mother.
However, I also think that it all depends on the culture or situation you are in and more importantly on what you believe is best for you and your baby. Being a full-time mom is a luxury. Nowadays, mommy needs to help daddy put food on the table. And of course, of course, mommy needs time to grow on her own, to continue living in her world with her friends and at work.
We are not wealthy but my husband and I just feel that this arrangement is the best for our kids that is why we take great care in watching our expenses by foregoing some or all (just kidding!) of our luxuries and keeping it within our means.
Soon, I will have to go to work. But then I would feel a sense of fulfillment that I have done and given, at that time, the best for my children.
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with nanny,
wihout nanny,
baby mealtime,
baby bath,
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Being a full-time "IMA"