Myla Katzav

Parties in Israel, be it weddings, birthdays, bar/bat mitzvah or a celebration of the arrival of a baby is very typical and more: yummy food, lots and lots of people and fun. It can be grand with a reception area and high class table settings with live band and all night dancing to very informal ones like a bar mitzvah by the pool or a birthday celebration in the park or by the beach.  However, there is one practice that shocked the sockets out of my ears!!! In parties specially for weddings and bar/bat mitzvah, the celebrant/s or invitee/s expect the guests to give cash to cover their expenses on food.  Believe it or not, I have talked to many people about this and everyone gives me the same reply.  That yes, it is a common practice in Israel and that yes, you have to give the worth of a plate per guest.  Like in bar mitzvah, its common to give NIS350 or apporximately P3,500 as a gift while in weddings, its on a per plate basis.  The per plate costs "usually NIS350-NIS500" so if you come as a couple you should give between NIS700-NIS1000 which is around P7000 to P10000. 

And they do check….after the party, the celebrant/s would list all the guests who came or keep the cash envelops and see who gave appropriately.  There's a number of incidents relating to this that completely freaked me out.  For example, a wedding couple who learned that a friend gave them less than what they spent per plate, they usually either will give them the same amount when it is this friend's time to wed or will not attend at all.  And if the guest is a close family or friend, expect you will be told about your cheapness if you gave less than what was expected.

I can only talk for the few weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, baby welcoming, birthdays I attended and so far, its all consistent.  Cash with a minimum requirement needed for you be totally appreciated by the invitee.  I havent attended any religious event so I cant tell if this custom goes the same. 

I also got to talk to some people about this practice and shared with them how it is done back in Asia particularly in the Philippines.  That when you invite someone, you don’t invite them to cover for your expenses, to cover for a dream that you cant afford.  You and your family share in the load and it stops there.  Of course, you expect some gifts but it can be in a form of cash or an item but it doesn’t matter whichever and what the value is.  Some would even give the cash proceeds to charity. And if you do not have the money to give or buy present, it doesn’t matter, you are welcome just the same. And it wouldn’t affect your future relationship with them or on how you will look at them after.  What we Pinoys look forward to, is an event to share our happiness and blessings to friends and family.  And it stops there..we don’t expect.  And I'm very, very proud of that.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

If you blind fold me and let a number of women pass close to me and one of them is my mother, I would instantly know her.  As a child, when she would go on a trip to Manila, my father would find me inside my mother's closet, smelling her clothes.  And I would be comforted because in there, I feel like I am still engulfed in her embrace.  Oh it was heaven! My earliest recollection of how clingy I was to her were my daily morning routine of going up on the roof of our white volkswagen that has an electric fan instead of an AC installed, holding the edges tightly in the hopes that when she rides it, I will still be there close to her.  Unfortunately, this wasn’t such a successful habit because as I always find myself up there, our helper would always take me down in a jiffy.  So, all my tears and my energy were wasted and yet everyday, I found myself doing it….never gave up. I was 4 years old. 

When we moved to Manila, I recall crying on the way to my mom's office either in a jeepney or crossing the road…I cried and cried and the only time I stopped was when I would see her. 

As a child, my mother was everything to me. I adored her.  Every night, she came first in my prayers. When she was late to come home from work, I cant sleep and waited for her and prayed very hard for God to send my angels to make sure she was safe and protected. And He never failed me. 

When I was a little older and can commute, I prefered waiting for her in her office no matter what time she finished just to make sure she has someone to accompany her back home.  I felt I couldn’t take any risk of not being there for her.  So while she was busy with her transactions, I just sat on the couch and watched her….and I felt at peace.

Even now, she still belongs at the top of my prayers and I always think about her every second of my days.  I miss my mother so much and one of the treats of the week is having to call her and talk to her until we run out of topic.

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Categories: My own "Exodus"

Hang the clothes for drying in the balcony……..check!

Put the rest of the laundry in the washing machine…..check!

Organize the kids' toys in drawers and boxes……check!

Clean and wash the floors…….check!

Clean the bathrooms…….check!

Clean our room……….check!

Cook rice…….check!

Ready the salmon and other ingredients for lunch…….check!

Change all the beddings……later!

Write in the blog…doing now!

I am having a pumped up Sunday and its even being hyped by the song "Pumped Up the Jam" on the radio.  What a treat!!! I find myself dancing while cleaning the floors and smiling everytime a good familiar song plays in the background.  Sundays are my alone days.  Some times, it can be full of chores like today while there are times when I just lounge in the house, feet up, watching a good movie while munching away my favorite chips with coke on th side. 

I like it..actually I love it.  It’s the day that I prepare both myself and the house for the coming chaotic week.  When there's no good film, I find myself reflecting about work, how to organize my tasks to be efficient and do more in such a short time.  My boss just told me that at first, he told the CEO and the VP that I will have a short learning curve…he realized he's wrong cause its much shorter than that!!!

So pumping up my Sunday actually pumps up my whole week and I feel all the positive energy fill me up.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, here I come!!!   

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Whenever I find myself home alone doing some household chores, be it cooking, cleaning the house, ironing the clothes or writing like now, I always listen to Crossover FM 105.1.  Sometimes, it almost feels like I'm in the Philippines, just like how it was before specially when the smell of adobo cooking wafts through the house.

The music from the radio station is so relaxing, soothing and just plain cool.  And no matter how western are all the songs it plays, it is so Pinoy, so my generation and I cant help but reminisce the good old days. The good old days of my youth and singlehood.  The long trips my friends and I took between Manila and La Union and the provinces around it.  I recall the road from La Union and Pangasinan where you have the sea on your right and mountains on your left while "Sailing" is being played full blast.  The wind in my face complements the song that I feel like really sailing along life's waves.  Or the bar hopping in Pampanga at night with friends and meeting up others there. All those seemingly endless nights spent having dinner with friends after work in a cozy little restaurant in Malate or going dancing late on Friday nights with my girlfriends even in the middle of a strong typhoon either at Havannah in Malate or Strumms in Ortigas.  We were such regulars that our bags have its own space at the bar.  Sometimes, we even find business cards in our bags from guys who didn’t have the nerve to approach us.  We were so carefree and so full of fun while Retrospect would give out a blast of the 80's music.  Even in Boracay, while lounging in the sand we had music acompaniment from the portable stereo of our "deejay" girl friend. 

Music has been a standbyer in my life.  Through it, I got comforted while mending a broken heart. It helped me shed those tears easily.  Or when I am in love, it helped open my heart all the more! It has also accompanied me through the good times the most…with friends around all the time, travelling, eating or dancing. And now, it still accompanies me in my aloneness….and bringing me back home even for a moment and somehow, letting me get that feel once more of the wonders of being young again. 

Come to think of it, Music is my intagible bestfriend.  It has been a witness to all the people and events that shaped my life. It has provided me with the perfect mood at each changing moment and now that I have children of my own, it has also become a big part of their little worlds everyday.  Thank you, Music, for the everlasting gift of being the best and constant companion when loved ones are just too far to be reached.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

I never thought I could look forward to a Friday like nowadays.  Well, even before, Fridays were deemed as that last day of holding your breath before the fun and relaxing starts with the weekend.  In Israel, I deem it much bigger than that.

Fridays are the only days that parents get to do things without getting interrupted or disturbed because the kids are in the day care (for babies and toddlers)  or school (for older kids).  Errands can be done faster and more efficiently like going to the grocery or market, shopping or cleaning the house, cooking, doing the laundry and taking care of the car.  It is also a day that they get to pamper themselves…having breakfast leisurely, sitting and talking with no care for time passing by, watching a movie or just hanging out together.

More importantly, it is the day of "love"….finally we do not need to wait till everyone is asleep, no need to rush into things before someone starts to wake up, no need to lock the doors, no need to be QUIET!!!! Ahhhhh…the freedom of being alone together once more just like how it was when we were younger.

STOP!!! Well, not likely though….with age, two kids and less practice, we find ourselves enjoying more just laying in bed in a tight embrace…with or without making love and it's just heaven!  

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Baha is a famous outcry in the Philippines,  a country that experiences two "seasons: wet and dry.  These days, it has been raining, no, pouring in the Pinoyland and many households are under water attack.  In Israel, it only rains for a total of 2 weeks or a little more than that annually during winter.  And currently, it faces a huge problem with water scarcity that a household can be fined once they see an abnormal increase in water consumption. 

Yesterday morning, I read some comments from friends in Facebook about the downpour in Manila causing monstrous traffic jams and…..baha!!! Just reading about it made me miss rain so much and the sound of thunder. So, I placed a comment in my wall about this wishful thinking.

A little over 10 hours after making that "wish", we got a call from our neighbor saying our house has water all over….well, she could have just mentioned baha to me and I will get a better picture of it.  We rushed back home and as I entered the elevator, I already saw water in there and it scared the hell out of me.  I can just imagine myself slaving to clear the water until early morning and I wanted to run away!

As we opened the door to our apartment, there it was.  The whole house except for the bedrooms and the bathrooms was just wet…to my kids delight!!! I placed Ben in his chair and he was so happy to see me walk through water and making a splash.  Rachel was delighted to see the whole house a playwater ground.  She started to stomp on it making big splashes to my horror.  Just a few minutes after arriving and evaluating the extent of our domestic "calamity", our neighbors started entering our house with their cleaning paraphernalias to my amazement!  There were about 7 people helping us out clear the water and clean the floor and I havent met most of them and don’t know all of them at all.  So, my projected "slaving" time to clear and clean the house until past midnight was hugely decreased to just less than 2 hours. 

But the one that put a smile in all of us was little Rachel, who took the broom and started to push the water out of the house and did it very well that her cousins older than her started to join in and help.

Looking back, it wasn’t bad at all, in fact, I see it as a blessing in disguise.  We made new friends, our neighbors "knew" us finally. And our little Rachel proved that in times of discomfort, she can be counted on. I am so proud of her.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

When I saw my best friend's comment about how she misses reading my blog and how my articles have become scarce, I panicked.  I felt disconnected from her and from the rest of Pinoyland and its not good.  Since I had the blog, I felt more at ease, comforted by the thought that through it, my  loved ones will never loose track of me. And once I got the confirmation for a job, I feared my blog will be the first thing to suffer from the change…and it did!

The computer room where I used to spend hours at night, alone with my thoughts flowing through my blog, has been empty for two weeks now.  I miss it.  I miss spending hours there in the middle of the night and just letting my thoughts run away. It has become my base, my abode, a place where I can reflect and let time go by…

When I got this job, I promised myself that outside of the hours from work, I would devote it to the kids and making sure that everything at home remains as it used to be and that was what I did…but I guess that shouldn’t be the case because of my best friend's 3-liner. It was a wake-up call and I am thankful that it came in this early.  I even had plans of closing down my blog because I just couldn’t find the time or so I thought. 

But here I am, reviving it back..and thank God my mind agrees with me because it is so ready to express itself once again. I realize that I can not imagine being out of touch again.

So to my best friend, Irene, thanks for once again rescuing me as you've always done many times over.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

There was only one word to describe how I felt yesterday: TIRED! Fridays are usually the day that I schedule the major clean up of the house and doing all the errands for the coming week.  It is the only day that the kids are in the day care and haim and I are both at home.  So, I take this opportunity to do everything needed while they are away. Add to that the week's mental wourk outs….as I found myself so perked up at work, even my nights were spent thinking about how to start rolling in the sale and reach that goal…

However, I found myself feeling exhausted towards the middle of the day.  And without an appetite, a quite empyty stomache would just bring out the worse in me…and it did. So, I found myself ranting to my husband..and it was a long rant: "Lets move out of here, go back to the Philippines", "I will start looking for a job in the Philippines", "Life is too difficult here", "I miss my dad and my mom terribly", "In the Philippines, I will not be doing all these things", "In the Philippines, my free time will be for shopping, massage and just hanging out with friends", "I know I can have a better life there", etc, etc, etc.

Today, I am back to my normal state: rested body, relaxed mind and "sane".  And looking back at yesterday, I cant help but smirk.  When you are at the end of the line, and your wits are literally going down the drain, the best escape is to let your immature, selfish side do the work…because it feels good.  Even just to rant about something that you know is half the truth just so you will just have something bad to say, is good enough. So le tme get into the details of each ranted line.

"Lets move out of here and go back to the Philippines": Very easy to say, very promising.  But not a good idea for now.  We are just getting established out here: I have a new job which inspires me, the kids have just adjusted in their respective day cares, Haim is slowly but surely pulling out the guns at work.  To move out of here, afterall the sacrifces we've made would be like going back a loser.  What more, my kids just love it here and I cant take that away from them…ever.

"I will start looking for a job in the Philippines": Honestly, I love being able to work in a foreign environent.   I love the change, I love the directness, I love the bigger challenges.  So, to work in the Philippines is not as enticing as here.

"In the Philippines, I will not be doing all these": Very wrong.  I guess when I was saying those words, I was still picturing my old young, single self.  Being a mother entails a lot of work anywhere you are.  Well, except if you choose to get a nanny to care for your baby, which you can also do anywhere.  So, I made a choice and that choice entails being there for them 110%.  As for the housework, well, in the Philippines I would do less but except for days like this, I find it actually de-tressing me.

"Life is too difficult here": In life, wherever you are, it all depends whether you look at it half-full or half-empty.  Most of the time, when I am in a sane state of mind, I was walking through life and still do with only gratefullness in my mind and the glass was always half-full….grateful for my family, grateful that everyone is healthy and that life has not been too harsh on anyone.  And inspite of the challenges, I didn’t live for it to define me and so it all passed me one way or the other.    

"I know I can have a better life there": Again wrong.  I can have a better life here as well and I do.  Its just a matter of choice and seeing it in a positive manner. Of course, I lost the many things I used to love, I lost a part of myself when I left….but in life, we do loose parts of ourselves when we move one step forward…and it just gets better.

"I miss my dad and mom terribly": Now this is the clincher.  There is no way out.  There is no one and  nothing out here that will ever get any closer to taking their place and this is just truly sad.  And what can be done to compensate for it: talking to them regularly and the promise of one day, soon, I will be seeing them again.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Rachel and Ben have been going to the daycare two weeks before I started going to work so they have actually been going for a month now.  How time flies!

Rachel from the start has been smooth with the change.  She loves being with kids and adults, singing, dancing, drawing, etc.  Her teachers tell me that she is a joy to be with…never giving them any problems.  Well, lucky for them..with me, she has been quite a challenge on some days when she becomes irritable and just hard headed.  But before her tantrums go full blast, I put a firm stop on it by showing her "The Belt".  She tried it once and will never ever get it I believe. Of course, I talk to her  lot and explain why her behavior calls for such an action.  I also think it is psychological because all our attention and concern were pointed towards Ben. And so, I have been more careful with how I divide my attention specially during pick-up time.  I give them the same attention and devotion..smile, embrace them, hold them……feed them!

Ben, just like me, went through some difficult moments.  The first few days were just about crying.  But as he started to get used to the people and the environment and explore and realize the many toys and activities he can join in, he warmed up very nicely.  Today, when I pick him up, he would wave to his teachers and say bye-bye, give them either a smack on the cheek or a flying kiss and smile a lot!  His progress is quite fast and dramatic.  But still, when he sees me, he leaves everything he holds or whatever he does and runs straight into my arms.  And when he does that, I feel like a burst of happiness flowed out of me.

Out of day care, out of work, we spend as much time together and its just like the old days. We still get to do the things we usually do when it was a whole day, they get to play with one another still. It does get quite hectic and chaotic at times but I know that's its all in a day's work…that there are better days coming our way and it will just keep getting easier and good.  

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

I survived my first two weeks at work.  Phew!  It was like going through a roller coaster ride. My days would usually start upbeat and then as the working hour nears it ends, I feel so drained and more, experience headaches.  The reason behind this is quite embarrassing and cant quite accept until now that it can cause my malfunction.

I start the day by waking up at 6am up to 15 minutes pass it.  The first day was a bit tough because I was so used to waking up 2 hours more and cant take it that the rest of the people at home are still snuggled in their beds.  But I perk up with the knowledge that here is a new day, a new opportunity for me..I embrace the change! Before I fix myself up, I make sure everything the kids need for their day care are all set.

To my convenience, the office environment is very easy and casual.  We go to work wearing jeans!!! On some days, I feel like "walking tall' so I release my long imprisoned high heels from the shoe cabinet and it felt so good! I try to be as casual as the rest but there are days when I just cant help but dress up a bit!

My colleagues are mostly male and all my bosses are men.  This is a first time for me since my entire working life was surrounded and headed by female powerhouses!!! Its quite amusing for me because with men bosses and collegues..everything is as is…straightforward, casual, no "trial" period.  And they are all very nice gentlemen.  I guess it has something to do also with me being female and the only Asian.

I am inspired by how they do business.  My bosses inspire me because they are so simple and humble and yet they hold big time gobal projects in their hands.  And this is exactly the kind of environment I want to be involved in.  So, I felt and still feel like a tiger….sharpening my claws and getting ready to that moment that they will opent he gates widely and let me free.  I cant wait to make that first "kill" and relish the success of closing a big project.  I can already feel it in my fingers…..

 

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)