Myla Katzav

An alien is defined by the Web as follows:

 

·     foreigner: a person who comes from a foreign country; someone who does not owe allegiance to your country

·     stranger: anyone who does not belong in the environment in which they are found

·     estrange: arouse hostility or indifference in where there had formerly been love, affection, or friendliness; "She alienated her friends when she became fanatically religious"

·     extraterrestrial being: a form of life assumed to exist outside the Earth or its atmosphere

·     being or from or characteristic of another place or part of the world; "alien customs"; "exotic plants in a greenhouse"; "exotic cuisine"

 

My first real squeeze with my Israeli family came during a ten-day vacation.  All the years that my husband and I stayed together, even before we got married, I never got excited about meeting the parents because I had such a bad feeling about the encounter and I felt no need to experience such a discomfort in my seemingly perfect world.  I heard horror stories from friends and relatives who had such challenging experiences in dealing with their in-laws and thought…here they are, same Filipinos, same culture and traditions, and yet they don’t see eye to eye…WHAT MORE WITH ME…a Filipina amongst an Israeli clan….

 

But I also knew it was inevitable…and so I kept on delaying and pretending I had such a busy schedule.  However, when I stopped working and obviously had the time to go anywhere and be anywhere, I couldn’t say no to my husband.  I couldn’t deny him the pleasure of finally presenting his family to them.

 

And my feelings just got confirmed when, during those ten days, I found myself just counting the hours to the day we will finally have to leave and go back to Asia. Sleeping time was something that I looked forward to in a day. I had no problems with the men in the family because we all know men are the least complicated..it was the women, more so the mother.  There was no warmth, no getting to know you moments..I only got stares and silence…I spoke only English, she spoke only Hebrew..plus, those stares left me imbalanced.

 

And so, I left Israel with glee and a promise to not ever live with them in one roof.

 

Fast forward to my moving to Israel, being 6 months pregnant and putting all my war-freak hormones to work, I did not ask but stated very clearly to my husband that no way will I ever live with his family when we get there.  And so, my ever understanding and gracious husband arranged that we get an apartment even before we arrive…to my satisfaction!

 

Fast forward to today…and looking back at those seemingly “dark” period, I can only laugh at myself for being so immature, so selfish literally and square.  My mother in-law turns out to be one of the easiest person to deal with..she doesn’t have any qualms or issues about "my" issues…that her stares were just very normal for someone who was suddenly being exposed to an “alien” and her silence..well, she spoke only Hebrew! I was being selfish that there were times that I didn’t want to be part of their gatherings to my husband’s dismay and I resented their weekly visits to our place.  And square because I only moved within a certain perimeter that I deemed was comfortable to me..and they were off-limits. I was so full of self-pity and short sightedness that I was blinded about the love and concern hovering around me..that all I had to do was to reach out and let them in. I judged them without getting to know them.

 

My Israeli family is just amazing that they are always around to help more than what you ask for. My mother-in-law’s house is open 24/7 to anyone who needs respite or a good meal. My father in-law has a very simple way of looking at things..black or white..period.  My twin brothers-in-law are very connected to my children that they spend time taking care of them and bringing them out to play or reading stories to them or doing art work.  I have not seen such devotion from two young guys to the children of the family.  I mean, we can leave our children with them for days and know that they will be taken cared of as if we were present.  And my sisters in-law, specially the one living close to us has the biggest heart that is always ready to take you in anytime, any day.

 

 

Now we don’t give each other those icy stares anymore…and instead we exchange kisses and hugs and…I now can speak a little Hebrew and she can speak a little English….and the silence has been replaced by smiles and laughter.

 

Tags:
Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

I love the book by Leslie Levine entitled Ice Cream for Breakfast.  It has a subtitle that goes: “if you follow all the rules, you miss half the fun”.  According to Leslie Levine and I quote the book “Breaking the rules can give you a fresh perspective, shake things up a bit, and force you to see life through a slightly different lens”.

 

Living in Israel has me doing this but in an unconscious manner because what seemed to me as “The Rule” in my everyday life has turned me into someone breaking them.  Below are my very Filipino traits that seem to break the Israeli rule of daily living:

 

1. I eat rice for breakfast..or better I eat rice all the time!
2. I cook rice plainly…not with potatoes or nuts, or herbs or whatever…
3. I do not eat omelet with cheese and fresh tomatoes for dinner
4. Breakfast is between 8am-9am not 10am or 11am; Lunch at 12 noon, not between 2pm – 4pm
5. I always have the “sawsawan” on the side and dislike hummus and tahina
6. I marinade my steak
7. I looove pork: barbecued, fried, stewed, boiled..lechon! lechon! Lechon!
8. I don’t start pumping my car horn one second after the traffic light turns red and yellow (signaling one to prepare to go) even if it is in the middle of the night and unfortunately, the driver chooses to stay behind our car and not in the three other empty wide lanes beside us.
9. I do not complain every chance I get.
10. I spank my children to correct a mistake.
11. I have my 3 year old Rachel and 1 year old Ben staying at home with me and not in a day care or gan
12. My children never drank tea with leafy herbs from their feeding bottle
13. I don’t take my children out everyday
14. I used to iron my bed sheets
15. I will not send my son to the army.
16. I start my year on January 1 and not in September
17. I turn the pages of a book or newspaper or magazine from right to left (even if it is in Hebrew and I just want to look at the pictures)
18. I don’t walk for 1 km, I take the car
19. I call my father-in-law Aba (father for Hebrew) and not David (his first name)
20. I call my husband Aba  and not his first name.

 I will add up to this list as I go along.  Just like the book, I want to have 52 rules to break.  32 more…not bad, considering I’ve only been here for a short time and need to reaffirm other “rules” I think I am breaking…but not yet, not now.

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Categories: Le Haim en Israel (To Life in Israel)

Today, I got a beautiful email from a dear friend in London.  Apparently, she read my blog.  It made me reflect about friendship…and I had to write about it, breaking my rule of not posting any article on a weekend.

 

She called herself an absentee friend..well, I am guilty of that too and I apologize for it as well. 

 

We knew each other from college.  We did not hang out immediately but somehow, our similar schedules and easy-going attitudes pushed us to form our own group.  A group composed of two probinsiyanas (Tacloban and Zamboanga), one semi-probinsiyana (Pampanga) and the city girl. We had it easy in college..our course was the easiest after all.  They had boyfriends and I felt I had one too…just watching and listening to them blabber about it non-stop specially when they got into fights or when we went on stake-outs until 3 am .  They introduced me to a guy from another university who became my “first” boyfriend but who went missing after a month when my brother, cousins and some neighbors threatened him with an idea of a gun.  We continued being friends after college and even got closer as we started to carve our prints in the corporate world.  We shared thousands of dinners after work, slept over in one’s apartment for weeks, experienced a horrible earthquake and cried buckets of tears together.

 

And since we parted ways physically..somehow, our friendship took the same fate.  But today…is different because her mail redefined our bond.  And I quote her: 

 

I try hard to make friends here in London and up to now I have never really found the kind of friendship I've shared with you and the 2 other girls....and I've missed you so much guys...I for one can relate to your feelings on how it's like to be homesick and there's that rebelling attitude of consciously or unconsciously refusing to embrace change....I look for you guys in any potential friend I meet here but never measure up...but after reading your blog...guess what?! I've realized I don't need new friends, I don't need to find new ones that I could genuinely trust and completely be myself...I always have you guys  and I should not allow whatever distance we have now to get in the way....we can still be close and be there for each other in spite the miles apart..

 

I used to explain to my husband everytime he asked me why I don’t make any effort to make friends here in Israel: That we (my friends and I back home) are like old trees..you cannot change the way our branches and leaves and trunks are formed unless you cut it and it dies.  

 

And Sally, just like you, I haven’t made new good friends here because what I have back home and scattered all over the world, are enough best friends who are capable of changing a regular day into something as beautiful as today.

Tags: friend, friends, friendship, old friends
Categories: My own "Exodus"

I can not count the many times I visited Haifa.  I know I will never get tired of it.  It gives me a feeling of being “home” in a different way.  Its more of feeling relaxed and just plain happy. 

 

The Port City of Haifa is the largest city in Northern Israel and the 3rd largest city in Israel.  It is located on Mt Carmel and is an important economic region because it is home to a number of technology parks, industrial port and a petroleum refinery. 

It is one of the most visited cities by tourists because of its breath-taking sea-view from the top, the amazing gardens of the Baha’I World Center, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, and the German Colony that overlooks the seaport. 

 

 

 Some parts of the German Colony have stone pavements and lining up each side of the road are restaurants and coffee shops.  It is a treat to have a meal al fresco and by night time, it even becomes magical from all the different lights that adorn the establishments.

   

 I love Haifa!

 

 

 

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Categories: "Unholy" Sites

I remember her in her 30's.  She was beautiful period. I often asked her why she never entered any beauty pageant because she's got the look.  She's got sexy lean fair legs which she only showed-off at home and at the beach.  Nice medium-sized boobs and small waist line.  She used to weigh 80 lbs in college that was why she maintained such a figure even after 3 kids. But its her face that was a give-away...soft features: small thin lips with well maintained set of teeth, smiling eyes, cute mestiza nose and jet black hair. 

Every week, I saw her sporting different shades of red on her long well-maintained nails.  And she loved to dress up...shoes and bags always terno and if it came with a belt, she would take it as well. Too bad she needed to wear uniform at work except on Fridays. Oh and she loved to change her hair style...either a bob, big curls or boy cut. I saw one of her pictures when she was much younger and was sporting a long thick straight black hair...I thought, again, she could easily have won in a beauty pageant.

Even when she got pregnant with her youngest son, she never let go of her looks and style...always buying new clothes with matching shoes and bags.  And she never missed out on her nightly beauty routine.

She was born in a very poor condition because of war...a nipa hut measuring 2m X 2m with no electricity and water.  Her father had to cross mountains and rivers just to have her baptized.  Her mother used to pay a woman for her breast milk because she hadnt any. A small portion of their lives was spent in a boat.   

As a child, she wanted to be a nun.  This explained why she never thought about beauty pageants or having hard, hard fun (plus there were the strict, serious parents).  Growing up, this desire changed to that of becoming a teacher.  I guess she got it from her mother who was an educator all her working life. But then, in college, she took up economics and had to leave home.

She remained conservative and a devoted Catholic that was why she never really went out on dates except for those few times and with a chaperon (her younger sister). Her first suitor was a guy whose family name was like hers and just because of this, she turned him down.  He became a priest.  There were others but somehow, they never got to second base..probably she was just too naive to acknowledge their interest on her or she was just too blunt in telling them off. 

The only guy who won her heart eventually became her husband.  At first, when he came to visit (this was after getting permission from her father), she would read a book in front him in the hopes that he will go away..but he still persisted..and she continued reading.  Finally, her aunt confronted her..telling her that the guy must really, really like her and thought he was a good catch because he was a professional. Even when she attended college in the metropolis, he was around..fetching her from school.  Their dates were mostly spent in the bus and in parks with him carrying a portable radio so they will have music along the way.

So they got married.  On the morning after her first night with him, she woke up to find kids peeking at their windows...they were her husband's nephews and nieces.  After a month, she got pregnant...gave birth to a son...nearly died a few days after from exhaustion and fatigue.  But had three more kids after.

She worked most of her children's growing up years and was a devoted wife.  Her children, specially her daughter, adored her like there was no one else in the world. I always thought how lucky her husband was because during mealtime, when he was not around, she would keep the best part of the meat for him.  She also didnt have friends whom she could go out regularly with....because all her time was spent with the family.

Now she is a retiree, a grandmother and a friend.  And still beautiful period...inside and out. 

I am her daughter.

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Categories: My own "Exodus"

When the almost 100 million viewers plus those who attended the show live raved and squeeled about the performances of Adam Lambert and Kris Allen at the top rating American Idol, I had no idea that there was such an event! The only time I found out about its existence was when I checked on facebook and saw strong reactions from many friends (this is quite abnormal)! So, I got very curious and skipped nap time with the kids and started to search the net for the show and...lo and behold! I found myself glued to my seat watching every performance available! And while I danced and sang myself on "mute" mode, I cant help but laugh because if someone would see me, I would look like one crazy ignoramus who just learned how to have fun!

And so it goes...my life as a full-time mother and housekeeper. I cannot count the many important events and movies that I allowed to pass by because my kids needed me..or more truthfully, i needed them! I always get to treasure these events on a delayed fashion..when the whole world has simmered down and the celebrations have ceased. But fortunately, when I talk about it to family and friends, the thrill seems as fresh as when they saw it live...or maybe they just over react for my sake!

And so I ask myself: Does my state of living now qualify me to be a loser? Maybe, maybe not..but one thing's for sure, in the eyes of my kids..I'm their IDOL!!!:)

 

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Categories: Being a full-time "IMA"

I feared potty training...because it was an addedd inconvenience for me. Perhaps when the decision to do it came, I was feeling somewhat demotivated..part of "work" really. This happens of course to every moms and it is just a very normal feeling..

Its good I had Haim who pushed and started it with or without me...or else, my daughter would have still been stuck to her diapers for a longer time.

I researched about how to potty train a child the best and fastest way...unfortunately, the best and the fastest way didnt work for me and most especially for Rachel. Well, I have to confess..it didnt work more because of my attitude towards it and not because Rachel wasnt ready...oh she was very ready! I just slowed her down with my hesitations.

There are different methods to potty train a child...you can read thousands of articles, join forums, buy the cd's and even attend seminars. But I didnt have the stength to go through any of it! So, I just picked up tips from various articles, took in some advices from forums and then I was ready. How I picked up which tips and advices to follow were those which I believed will work for my daughter and of course it must be something that I trust in.

For example, I dont believe in rewarding a child on a regular basis for work well done. I just feel that a child should not get used to getting something in return for a task expected from her. Or in contrast, to have her favorite flavored ice cream or a giant toy just because she did something right. I think that they deserve to have whatever it is their hearts desire at any moment you feel they should have it.

Dont get me wrong, I do discipline my children but this is something that should be about correcting their mistakes and not letting them repeat it. To me, a child on potty training who makes wee-wee in her panty no matter how many days or weeks or months she has been doing it in the toilet should not be scolded because she is not making a mistake. Making wee-wee in her panties is something she's done since she was born! It works to bring her to the toilet every 20 minutes and commend her everytime she goes to do it in the toilet by herself.

Oh and before, I got mad, I got irritated, I almost brought her back to the diapers....but then, I realized, I wasnt thinking well during those moments and so everytime I was on the verge of acting on my tuntrams, I stopped....its not Rachel..its me who's doing a mistake here.

Finally, it takes a lot of patience and explanation in words and actions. Now, my Rachel goes to the toilet by herself, switches on the light, opens the door, places the plastic box to step on below the toilet seat, removes her panty and pants/shorts and then does it all by herself (including wiping and flushing under my help and supervision!). Of course she still misses sometimes specially when we are out of the house and probably she gets confused or scared to do it in another toilet or when she is excited during playtime with some kids, but the whole process, when done with cool minds, works out fine in the end.

 

Tags: potty training
Categories: Being a full-time "IMA"

As early as spring, people start flocking to the beaches of Israel and the peak of course is during the summer months of July and August.  During this time, almost all beaches are congested and what a sight!!! Children playing in the sand and water (some are naked), families making barbecue and even pitching tents, adults playing ball and other sports while most either lounge on the sand or hang out at the restaurants on the beach areas.

There are 10 beaches along the coast of Tel Aviv.  We go to the closest one which is only around 20 minutes from where we live and which is the first to be featured here.

The sand is light gray and powdery..somewhat similar to Boracay (no kidding!).  Restaurants line up the shore and you can even bury your feet while having your meal or drinks.  There are shaded areas to lay out the beach towels or mats while some even have available plastic lounging chairs.

   

 

The shower rooms are well kept while water faucets outside are in the numbers to accommodate most of the people who opt not to pass by the rest rooms. There are gardens with wide expanse of green for children to play and families to hold their picnics as well.  Flowers of various colors and look abound the gardens. The walkway above the beach serve also as a park and benches with shades  and lamp posts line up the way as it is a good spot to see the sun rise and set. 

It is beautiful to see birthdays being celebrated there with tables set-up with sumptuous barbecue, steaks, pizzas and salads, balloons lining up the area specially if its a child celebrating while some even set-up giant screens!

 

 

The way to the beach is very convenient for strollers. While the parking areas are wide enough to accommodate the hundreds of cars coming by in a day.

Everytime we go to the beach, our kids act like its their first time.  Even if they are sleeping on the way, they jump once they see the waters!  We always have fun playing with them and the best part is seeing the sunset..almost everyone stands still to see the sun being taken away by darkness. 

It even became more dramatic when, during our recent trip, a fisherman came into the waters just as the sun was setting... 

     

Tags: tel aviv beaches, sunset
Categories: "Unholy" Sites

It is very accessible to visit animal farms in Israel as these are mostly housed by the kibbutz.  A kibbutz is a village or community of residents that is independent from the rest of the society meaning they have their own farms, plantations, schools, hospitals, etc.  And in Israel, almost every city has kibbutzim (plural for kibbutz).  In only takes about a minimum of 20 minutes to get to an animal farm.  The entrance fee is usually between 20-30 shekels for adults while kids 2 years old-12 years old pay half.  Babies and toddlers below two years old are free. There are snacks sold either by the entrance or in the farm itself.

       

  

A typical animal farm have petting areas where kids and adults get to have close contact with the animals. Some even open the entire farm for people to interact with the animals like milking the goats and cows....(and get to drink the fresh tasty warm milk!), feeding them...to riding the horses .

  

  

Some areas of the farms are designated picnic grounds while some have playgrounds. Still the fun doesnt stop there..many activities for kids are available like painting, drawing and getting them on a tour on a small farm train.

It is a sure-fire fun time for our kids and the best way to get them sleeping in the car after!!!

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Categories: "Unholy" Sites

F riends come and friends go and when they do, they

R ip your heart to pieces

I t even becomes worse when its your time to leave

E nding all the coming days that you meant to spend with them

N otwithstanding the

D istance, you manage: Facebook, gmail, yahoomail, ym, skype, cellphone

S ome friends are gone forever

H owever new ones come but can never replace the ones you've lost

I thank all my friends, you know who you are (if youre not here, its just that i cant find any pic...its past midnight!!)

P romise we'll hang out some day there or in Israel...

   

 

 

 

 

 

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Categories: My own "Exodus"